Why I decided to work for Putin and the Russians

by Jon Rappoport

March 16, 2017

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Now John McCain says Senator Rand Paul is working for the Russians.

Well, that did it. That tipped the scale for me.

As my readers know, I have a fierce desire to go along with current trends, and I don’t want to be left behind. Since pretty much everybody in the US is working for Putin, I have to sign up, too.

So I put in a few calls, and they took me on board. Hail to Russia! Down with the USA! I’ll surely be able to write press (propaganda) releases for English speakers.

My first shot out of the box: did you know the Clintons helped Putin gain control of 20% of US uranium production? See, that way, I can make Hillary seem to be the real Russian agent, and I can deflect blame away from Trump. Of course, the Hillary-uranium story is based on fact, and there is a good circumstantial case to be made, but it doesn’t matter. The truth or lies—I go either way, as long as it supports Putin and his favorite guy: Trump.

And I do support Vlad. He’s a great guy. I’ve never met him, but he must be a great guy, because now I’m working for him. That’s called political logic.

The money they’re paying me isn’t much to start, but I might be able to buy a new pickup or a nice piece of acreage in Siberia. I’ve always wanted to live in Siberia. They have several Whole Foods markets and they’ve converted some of the Stalin gulags into first-class resorts. Hot springs, mud baths, live Vegas-type shows, casinos, golf courses.

The whole issue of political loyalty is overrated. You go with the guy who pays you. That’s the basic rule. I’m sure that’s why Rand Paul defected. He needs cash.

As for the 200,000 websites and blogs who’ve covertly gone over to the Russian side, according to US major media, I know those sites need cash. From what I understand, payment usually comes in the form of credit cards. All of a sudden you’ve got a new card with a pretty high limit. And when it maxes out, the Russians pay it off.

I understand Julian Assange has had at last ten of those cards. Steve Bannon, too. Ditto for Snoop Dogg. Snoop is a double agent. His job is to articulate the most outrageous anti-Trump positions, thus creating more Trump supporters, which in turn benefits Putin, because Trump is Putin’s number-one operative.

Trump has secretly been building condos, golf courses, and new post office centers all over Russia. Trump’s front man in this massive operation is, according to my sources, Bob Dylan. Bob soured on America a long time ago. He owns the building where Edward Snowden lives. But you already knew that, right?

Snowden, of course, has been a Russian agent since high school. His whole career as an analyst was created by remnants of the KGB. I’m hoping to interview him and see if he’ll come clean. Other former NSA experts, like Thomas Drake and Bill Binney, are also Russian agents. Why else would expose the NSA?

Instead of moving to Hawaii, Barack Obama has set up a residence close to the White House. Obama is the last great hope for staving off the Russian invasion of the US. He’s a patriot down to his fingertips. He’s been working for the CIA, against the Russians, since college. I believe this will come out soon. Barack, his pal Bill Ayers, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Michelle, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Holder, and Valerie Jarrett are all long-time soldiers in the fight against the Russian takeover of America.

The NY Times has the story, but for some reason they’re sitting on it. I’ve contacted Matt Drudge. There’s chance he’ll break it wide open. Matt is also, by the way, a double agent. He’s built up Trump with the sole purpose of taking him down. The higher the rise, the greater the fall. I’m told Hillary said that to Huma one night. Hillary lost the election on purpose. She’s known for a decade that Trump was Putin’s number-one operative on US soil—and the only way to expose him was to let him become president and make him more visible. Then, lower the boom and tell the truth.

I’ve got my work cut out for me. I have to defend Putin against this formidable cast of characters.

I’ll do my best.

The Matrix Revealed

(To read about Jon’s mega-collection, The Matrix Revealed, click here.)

Jon Rappoport

The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emails here or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.

30 comments on “Why I decided to work for Putin and the Russians

  1. roger says:

    …This, somehow, feels all to real !

  2. Andrew Manche says:

    suppose you need cash too Jon,,, think we all may as well join Russia, it seems to be the only beacon of reason & hope in a world gone mad

  3. IMNAHA says:

    Oy Vey ! Do I feel stupid! All this time I thought the Khazionists had taken over GUS. I guess the establishment of the (unregistered) ARPAC should have been my first clue- those tricky bastards!

    • Yap Skuruzky says:

      Remember that time when Putin came to America and gave a speech before a joint session of Congress… Remember how all of those congresspersons/agents jumped to their feet to give him a standing ovation…like every 10 seconds or so… Remember that?

      Oh, wait, wat that Putin? Now that I think about it, it may have been some other foreign leader. I just wish I could remember who it was…

  4. Josh says:

    I thought this was going to be a satire post /disappointed

    BTW: There are also clowns in Siberia. This is yet another hidden perk that is a pleasant surprise for sleeper agents that choose to relocate here.

  5. cdanes4217 says:

    Well…it seems as if everyone else who thinks as (or close to how) I do is jumping ship, guess I’ll make that phone call too before all the spots are taken.

    How long does it take to get that credit card?

  6. Jaanko J says:

    Jon – thanks for coming out of the closet! And, you better get to work! You have your work cut out for you. There is much to be done!!!! Remember to keep the vodka in your freezer!!!! 😉 Oh, and be sure to keep us posted on the progress! A toast: pa-yé-kha-lee (lets get started)

  7. Larry says:

    With apologies to all horses everywhere, John McCain is a horse’s ass.

    And good luck Rappoportski – Das vadanya, baby!

  8. betty says:

    I want to join Russia and grow organic food.

  9. Larry says:

    The Russian Scare or Hacking “the most precious computers: your minds and your hearts.”


  10. Sha'Tara says:

    Good post, enjoyed it immensely. Siberia, huh? As a sleeper Russian agent myself, having partaken of that Canadian dish known as Poutine (which everybody knows is the cover name for that drug that awakens sleepers and puts them to work for Putin) I’m now waiting for orders. I’ll probably be planting a Russian flag in northern Saskatchewan and calling it Little Siberia… don’t knock it, everybody needs a paycheque.

  11. Sha'Tara says:

    Reblogged this on ~Burning Woman~ and commented:
    I admit, I read Jon’s stuff. I believe most of it, and some I don’t because you can’t believe everything you read: that’s a law. I am reblogging this because I too am part of the majority of Russian agents whom in Canada become activated by partaking of a special drug called “Poutine” which is hidden in a specialty Canadian dish of the same name. Of course, everybody knows that, right? Anyway and as usual Jon pulls no punches. We’re all Russian agents except for those that aren’t and there’s damn few of those. There seems to be only two stalwarts left: John McCain and Hillary Clinton, America’s last heroes. I knew a long time ago this wouldn’t end well…

  12. Sergei Grulugovic says:

    Would you get an autograph from Boris and Natasha for me?
    I’ll trade a WWII style hammer and sickle flag for this priceless treasure.
    Boris and Natasha are the original *l33t* Russian haxxors who were way ahead of their time.
    Boris and Natasha hacked on a Commodore PET and a Tandy TRS-80 just to show how *l33t* they were.

  13. Nana Akosua Baakan Agyiriwah says:

    Jon, as I read this, I smiled and shook my head,you are so silly sometimes. I have no quippy response except to shake my head and smile!
    We are living in very interesting times, and the rat hole is so full the rats are running every which way to cover their arses. SMDH

  14. Michael says:

    Itak … vash russkiy shpion tozhe. YA znal, chto v tebe chto-to podozritel’noye. YA dumayu, eto byli sekretnyye soobshcheniya v tvoikh soobshcheniyakh. Malen’kiye uliki, podobnyye vashemu blogu, opozdali na rozhdestvo. Akh khorosho. Itak, u vas yest’ khranilishche dlya obmana 7.

  15. Ram raider says:

    Putin, putting for a Par ?

  16. Nobody says:

    Hopefully communism isnt all that bad; I dont see how else to suffice, but through faith that my needs in this world are met one day at a time; and, with One God in mind: risen, Christ! Jesus paid the price.

    • Noah says:

      Since 1989 Russia has shifted towards a politically pro-family and pro-religion nation again. I don’t think they are nearly as communist as you might think. Today, probably many of the democratic socialist European countries are closer to what the USSR was. The heart of communism today is in Western nations’ political left-wing activists, who are constantly carrying communist flags and fighting so-called “Nazis” and inciting violence against speech of which they disapprove. Many UN organizations and the EU are communist-like structures, where hand-picked committees of bureaucrats actually write laws and control the vassal member states, where the only true Party is globalism.

  17. Yap Skuruzky says:

    Putin left chocolates on my pillow every night last year and a handwritten note (amazing floral print BTW), begging me not to vote for Hillary. He finally won me over and I indeed did not cast my vote for Ms. Clinton, even though I knew deep down that she and her fabulous collection of pantsuits were the key to bringing about global prosperity, peace and potent poppy fields of patriarchy-pulverizing pollenizers, patriots and politically correct politicos.

    I should be ashamed of myself, but it turns out that Russian chocolate is actually quite good. Apparently, Putin is in favor of secure borders for the U.S. because he knows that a country that protects its borders is a weak country.

    Ms. Pantsuits wanted to protect us by opening our borders to everyone and everything because she knows that a country without borders is a safer and stronger country. Yes, she is THAT patriotic, but I turned my back on her for a few pieces of chocolate and those cute smiley face stickers that Putin likes to put on his personal messages to every member of his army of new recruits and agents throughout Europe and the Americas.

  18. Steve Naidamast says:


    Do you have an extra employment applications for those of us that would like to apply also?

  19. From Quebec says:

    John McCain is such a warmonger and a traitorous senile idiot. It’s time to revolt and impeach him.

    ‘War is when your government tells you who the enemy is. A revolution is when you figure it out yourself!!!’

  20. CPP says:

    McCain Superlies Wrinkle Cut — now in the Cold War section of your frozen foods aisle.

  21. From Quebec says:

    Well, I had great hope when Putin divorced in 2013,
    So, I booked a fly to Russia and hoped to meet him and seduce him..

    Unfortunately, I read in a magazine on the plane, that Putin had already a busty 23 years old new girlfriend

    I figured out that I had no chance

    So, I came back home severely depressed.

  22. Jon, you have made a singular mistake here.

    McCain is best ignored. Ignore him and he’ll go away…eventually.


  23. John Folger says:

    why dos the msm never talk about china??

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