Virologist Appreciation Month; pop the champagne corks

by Jon Rappoport

September 9, 2021

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Actually, the remembrance month I’m proposing has a longer title:

“All Virologists and Molecular Biologists, And Doctors Who Are Neither, But Pretend To Be Both, And Dr. Deborah Birx Who I Understand Has Just Been Promoted From Cashier To Waitress In A Diner Off The Pennsylvania Turnpike Appreciation Month.” Thank you all for your service, we love you!

At a recent global virology conference in Davos, I interviewed Dr. Petunia Marigold-Regression about her work in the CDC Deli Lab in Brooklyn.

How’s the baloney?

We’re pushing tons of it out the door.

Did you isolate a new coronavirus, SARS-CoV-2?

We don’t isolate anything. Nobody does.

What then?

We sell STORIES about isolation.

Did you sequence a new virus?

We pretended we knew what the new coronavirus—if there had been one—would look like. We used old RNA sequences, by which I mean DATA, from research libraries, and utilizing a computer program from who knows where, we cobbled together a picture of a genetic sequence.

You sold another story.

Correct. We have house payments to make, and our kids attend shockingly expensive Ivy League colleges.

Your impression of Anthony Fauci?

He’s a bureaucratic god. Knows nothing about virology. He’s a master at working the system. We bow down before him.

So no new virus—which makes the test and the case and death numbers and the lockdowns and the vaccine all meaningless.

Right. The masks and the distancing are also absurd.

Why are you doing this?

Because it’s our profession. We’re Good Germans. We learn the language of lies and we use it. It’s either that or working as garbage collectors on the shoulder of some highway.

How much do you make a year?

With pharmaceutical perks, about 300 grand.

Do you sleep well at night?

With the drugs? Sure.

Do you dream?

I only remember one recurring dream. I’m being tortured in Hell.

What does Hell look like?

Mostly, a big department store. I’m always looking for lipstick, and I can never find it. And I’ve lost my platinum credit card.

Are you married?

For 20 years. My husband thinks I’m some kind of genius. He has no idea I sit in the lab all day and make up stuff.

Will you ever tell him the truth?

Are you kidding? I don’t deal in the truth. I have a strict policy about relating to other humans. I make up lies about the fact that I make up lies at work. It’s a two-tier system.

So why are you letting your hair down with me?

It’s amusing. No one would believe you if you reported what I’m saying.

That’s your protection.

A long time ago, I learned that the big con is the best con. Also, one lie naturally leads to another. Once you begin, your path unrolls before you like a red carpet.

You would have done well at the CIA.

I work at the CDC, which is the medical CIA. The CDC has infiltrated more media outlets and governments than the CIA could ever dream of penetrating. If I create a really useful lie on Monday, and it’s approved by my bosses on Tuesday, on Wednesday it’s transmitted to news organizations and government agencies from Greenland to Tierra del Fuego.

There’s a rumor you’ve been in talks with the Disney organization.

Yes. We’re developing a superhero-villain animated series for children. The hero is a chimp who looks like Fauci, and the villain is a vicious drunk who inhabits dark alleys. His name is Spike Protein.

Have you taken the vaccine?

You’re joking, right? I wouldn’t go near that thing. My whole family has a medical exemption.

Based on what?

We’re allergic to nanoparticles. One day we were all in the lab taking a tour, and a beaker exploded and showered us with nanos. We started blinking and glowing and for a few hours we lost about 20 IQ points. For example, I started believing my colleagues and I were actually discovering new viruses—that’s how dumb I became. Fortunately, I recovered after my daily jog.

Why do you think people are so fixated on viruses?

They need enemies. What could be worse than “tiny and invisible?” It’s the ultimate horror movie. If you try to tell them it’s all a fantasy, you’re kicking them out of the theater. That makes them unhappy. In my personal experience—I pretend I’m a liberal—liberals are hypochondriacs. A few little symptoms and they have to see a doctor. So they’ll believe anything they’re told about viruses.

You’re basically an actor.

Good point. That’s right. I’ve signed a contract. I’m in the film. If I back out, I’ll never work again. Let’s say they cast you as a cop. You’re on the set. All of a sudden, there are script changes, and the director comes to you and says, “We changed our minds. You’re now a dirty cop who deals heroin.” Are you going to say you don’t want to play that role? You have moral misgivings?

In the movie, you’re called to the White House. You’re in the Oval with the President. He says, “Doctor, the virus is out of control. My people tell me we’ve got 72 hours to come up with a vaccine or we’re all doomed.”

I say, “Yes, sir. We’re working to develop it right now. We’re using the antibodies of a man who just recovered at Walter Reed. It’s a long shot, but we’ve got a fighting chance.” The President says, “Somebody recovered?” I say, “Yes. He’s a janitor at a local school. Works himself to the bone to support his family. Ironically, he once tried to get into medical school, but because he’s an Eskimo and doesn’t read English, he was denied admittance. But now he has a chance to become a hero for the whole world…”

Have you taken the PCR test?

Eight times. Just for the fun of it. Even split. Came up negative four times and positive four times. I’ve framed all the notices. They’re hanging in our bunker.

Your what?

The upscale bunker in Virginia, where the important people go in case of a global catastrophe.

And you’re on the list?

Of course. At the lab, we have a little inside joke. After the flood or the attack from outer space or whatever, the only people left on the planet are virologists. And none of us knows how to change a tire or repair a broken wire or read a compass or plant a seed. Our only public skill is giving lectures at conferences.

I was told the Google Home Page was considering using your photo to announce the celebration of Virology Appreciation Month.

Yes. The day before the photo shoot, I spent hours in makeup. I had my hair done and redone. And then Google decided to go with Louis Pasteur.

He worked with bacteria.

Bacteria, viruses. Close enough. Think about this. Pasteur was researching milk and wine, trying to find out why they went sour. And decades later, we have a process of protecting milk called pasteurization. I mean, what are the odds? That’s an incredible coincidence.

It’s not a—

Anyway, I have to get back to the lab. We’re developing a meat substitute made out of spiders.

You’re supposed to be—it’s a virology lab.

I know, but Bill Gates is putting money into fake beef.

I had a few more questions about DNA and RNA.

DNA, RNA—we throw those terms around like cooks slinging hash in a diner. Remember, the map is not the territory. And if it’s a fake map, there is no territory.

That’s a cryptic answer.

I’ll just say this. Don’t assume we can take some tiny, tiny particle and slice and dice it perfectly and put it into a human. Plus, there are always unintended consequences. Ripple effects. Some ripples are trivial, others are dangerous. The truth is, we’re liars. If you start there, you’ve got a firm foothold.

That almost sounds like you want to be exposed as a charlatan.

Part of me does. Carrying my role in the movie gets to be an onerous burden over time. Here’s a metaphor. Think of me as a drug trafficker whose business is expanding by leaps and bounds. Every month, I’m shipping more freight. The risks are multiplying. Thousands become millions become billions. Once I was worried about a single truck on the highway from San Diego to Chicago. Now I’m keeping tabs on a cargo ship pulling into the port of Miami.

Does the COVID RNA vaccine really force the cells of the body to manufacture one and only one protein every time? The “correct” protein?

Who knows? Can you find a large study that takes thousands of people who’ve received the shot and analyzes their cells to see what new proteins are being produced?

I’ve looked for that study. I don’t see it.

Well, that should tell you something. We don’t like studies which compare our work with the real world. We want all “knowledge” to come straight from the lab.

Where no outsiders are permitted.


Congratulations on Virology Appreciation Month.

Thanks. Good luck publishing this interview. I have an editor friend at The New York Times. I’ll give you his contact info. Send it to him. He’ll get a chuckle out of it. I’ve spilled the beans to him many times.

Of course, he never prints a word you say.

He works for the CDC. We both do. I’m pretty sure the guy who picks up the garbage at my house works for the CDC.

Exit From the Matrix

(To read about Jon’s mega-collection, Exit From The Matrix, click here.)

Jon Rappoport

The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emails here or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.

25 comments on “Virologist Appreciation Month; pop the champagne corks

  1. Eluard says:

    I admire your knife blade, Monsieur Rappoport.

    You split apart the bones and discard the diseased flesh. You are the top butcher in your field.

    The Yellow Emperor honors your earnest efforts to heal the nation. He looks forward to discussions regarding imagination and infinite being.

    The spirit seeks its release.

  2. mika says:

    Well done sir, well done. It’s a big red pill to swallow but we’re all going to have to take it sooner or later.

    “Isolation” is the trick word – you nailed it. No such thing has ever occurred in this pseudo-scientific field of nonsense.

  3. Greg C. says:

    This post tops anything at the Babylon Bee!

  4. Larry C says:

    “DNA, RNA—we throw those terms around like cooks slinging hash in a diner. Remember, the map is not the territory. And if it’s a fake map, there is no territory.”


  5. Rico Debiase says:

    “He works for the CDC. We both do. I’m pretty sure the guy who picks up the garbage at my house works for the CDC.”

    & so does your Landlord. And pretty much ALL individual property-owners

  6. el Gallinazo says:

    One of your best!

  7. DJ says:

    “Dr. Petunia Marigold-Regression about her work in the CDC Deli Lab in Brooklyn.”

    I read your stuff but who is this person? How can I look them up for more dumb info?

  8. Roundball Shaman says:


    “At a recent global virology conference in Davos, I interviewed Dr. Petunia Marigold-Regression about her work in the CDC Deli Lab in Brooklyn.”

    “Did you isolate a new coronavirus, SARS-CoV-2?”

    ‘The guys in another lab way above my pay grade are conjuring up a bunch of nasty
    sausage right now. Can’t wait to see what They come up with…’

    “Did you sequence a new virus?”

    ‘I hope so. We can keep this going forever if we handle this right.’

    “Your impression of Anthony Fauci?”

    ‘We are not allowed to utter or render His Name. He is *The One Who Shall Not Be Named*. We speak of Him only in hushed tones and proper humility. He truly is a god walking among us. We are so lucky to be alive right now while he walks the Earth. Soon, we disciples will be writing Gospels about him. He is *The One We’ve Been Waiting For*… you know… the one long spoken of in prophecy.

    “Why are you doing this?”

    ‘Doing WHAT?’

    ‘Destroying the health and lives of the People of the World.’

    ‘We don’t look at it that way. We give people a choice. A test, really. If you’re stupid enough to believe our bull crap and become wowed by our phony degrees and lab coats and bully talk and you line up to get your arms repeatedly punctured, then you don’t deserve to live. We are doing the World a favor here.’

    “How much do you make a year?”

    ‘I don’t do this for the money. I do this because it’s the right thing to do.’

    “Do you sleep well at night?”

    ‘We don’t need sleep. They downloaded us into human-looking robots years ago. I’m due for an upgrade and refresh pretty soon.’

    “Do you dream?”

    ‘If They want us to. Just download some code and watch us fly the Cosmos.’

    “What does Hell look like?”

    ‘You’re kidding, right. Look around you right now. YOU’RE IN IT, SUCKER!’

    “Are you married?”

    ‘Yes. To my work. I will stop at nothing to make My Programmers happy.’

    “So why are you letting your hair down with me?”

    ‘Because for you, it’s all over. There’s nothing you can do to stop this. We have you by your most tender body areas. We have you penned in and surrounded and imprisoned and you can’t do a damn thing about it.’

    “There’s a rumor you’ve been in talks with the Disney organization.”

    ‘That’s funny. Are you serious? Who do you think is behind all this stuff?’

    ‘You don’t mean…’

    ‘Yes I do. Many years ago, I knew someone personally who developed a TV series in collaboration with Them. And you know what he always called them? THE EVIL RAT. That’s his words, not mine. But that’s what he said.’

    “Have you taken the vaccine?”

    ‘Why would I? I’m a machine. Maybe a bit of oil now and again, but nothing else.’

    “Why do you think people are so fixated on viruses?”

    ‘They are afraid of Death. And so, they spend the entirety of their lives not Living.’

    “Have you taken the PCR test?”

    ‘Sure. For fun. One time it told me I was a goat. The next time, I was a can of pork and beans. You never know what kind of result you’re going to get.’

    “That almost sounds like you want to be exposed as a charlatan.”

    ‘Look, everyone is a charlatan. We’re always trying to be something we’re not. At the office you pretend you working. On a first date you pretend to be a good catch. You tell people you never lie. Once you get married, you tell your partner that you’ve never cheated. And you want me to bring up the last ten years of your TAX RETURNS? Good Fauc — I mean — Good *Him*, give me break.’

    “Congratulations on Virology Appreciation Month.”

    ‘Thanks. We really mean *a MONTH* because that’s about you Suckers have left in the tank once you’ve taken The Jab. Would you like to have One for the Road? TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF AND GIVE ME YOUR ARM…’

    ‘And here’s your Mouse sticker!’

  9. BoogeymanSlayer says:

    Excellent and on point! Thanks. I just marvel at how all of those virologists believe they are working with anything beyond a computer virus. Or how the public just refuses to believe they are making up viruses that do not exist.

    What is in their bio weapon jab? Lots to unravel yet.

  10. Jason says:


    I could laugh more if it wasn’t actually true. 🙂

  11. John W. says:

    Dr. Fauci is like a cross between Dr. Josef Goebbels (head of propaganda) and Dr. Josef Mengele (head of inhumane and involuntary human experimentation).

    • Haniel Adhar says:

      Don’t give Fauci that much credit.

      He’s never actually accomplished anything

      • John W. says:

        Okay, how about a wannabe cross between them? However, I don’t entirely agree with your claim that he never accomplished anything: 1) He helped get U.S. funding for the Wuhan lab’s “gain of function” research, 2) Has been a leading promoter of lockdowns, the wearing one or two masks (except when he was against them), social distancing, and other healthcare quackery–measures which have caused great damage to our economy, helping the rich get much, much, much richer, and the rest of us poorer, and 3) Has been a tireless shill for the snake oil “vaccines”, succeeding in getting over 300 million jabs put into people’s arms, “vaccines” that according to VAERS have been linked to an explosion of “adverse events”,
        including 45,000 deaths. (Oh, and remember Mengele had unwilling test subjects for his medical experimentation, while Fauci’s human guinea pigs have in many cases been eager to receive the “safe & effective” magic bullet.

        And Fauci definitely has both of them beat in one category: Neither of the two mentioned was the highest-paid employee in his government.

  12. yerba buena says:

    I like to revoice chords when playing my original model Yamaha DX-7, a beautiful
    instrument capable of producing a wide range of sound tones. A recombinant of
    the chord known as a major 6/9 in the key of C that I found playing around with
    stacked fourth intervals changes the close voicing of C D E G A, AKA C major six
    add nine, using stacked fourth turns into E A D G C. This rendering gives a more
    open, spacious and abstract feeling/awareness. Same notes, different sequence.

    Names can be revoiced and sometimes brings out a further dimension, e.g. the word
    “coronavirus” reconfigured, becomes “carnivorous”. I applied this device to some
    of the usual suspects and came up with some alternate sequences.

    Deborah Birx becomes ribbed hoax, or red bib hoax
    Rochelle Walensky becomes yellow hen slacker
    Bill Gates becomes begat ills
    Joe Biden becomes i need job
    Anthony Stephen Fauci becomes he phony stain face nut
    Donald Trump becomes damn plod rut
    Barack Hussein Obama becomes i am a conk bash abuser

    Somewhere in my la corona hoaxola files I have a larger listing that includes
    Christian Drosten and Tedros and Gavin and assorted petty tyrants.

    A Rose is Eros by another name, fragrant as ever.

    Thank you Jon for your great work and deep inspiration, as well as your sense of
    humour and meditation openings. And thanks also to so many reader comments.

    No masks
    No tests
    No jabs

    Just say yes to life!

  13. Haniel Adhar says:

    OMG that Deborah Birx line had me rolling on the floor.

    That has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen you write.

    HILARIOUS. But I heard she was stripping at the Blue Iguana, but sources can’t be confirmed. “Wildebeest” doesn’t seem to be on their roster…

  14. Frank GL says:

    […] a reference for the low potassium in covid patients…

    “Low potassium was present in 119 patients, accounting for 41% of the sample. The serum potassium levels ranged from 2.4 mEq/l to 3.5 mEq/l with a mean of 3.1 mEq/l. Most patients in this group had mild hypokalemia (about 91%), occurring along with hypocalcemia, and lower average magnesium levels.”

    Now, that’s an awfully high prevalence of both low potassium AND low magnesium.

    Chlorine would be, basically, the main culprit.

    Additionally, we already know Vitamin D, some other elements are commonly deficient in “covid”.

    Don’t people recognize what’s causing their sickness?

  15. Frank GL says:

    I’ve never even heard of this stuff, but apparently is very widely used…

    Carcinogenic, genotoxic, cytotoxic…

    And those are the sort of factors that we MUST CREDIT VIROLOGISTS FOR IGNORING ENTIRELY.

Comments are closed.