Laura Thompson, 1952-2019
by Jon Rappoport
March 21, 2019
Did a great Nothing swallow you whole, my darling?
Have you gone to ashes, buried next to the walnut tree in New Jersey, in the back yard of your family?
Is the same swelling of the legs that immobilized you creeping up my body?
I sat on our front porch smoking a cigarette looking at the wild cherry tree full of pink buds—this is your spring coming on in the hills of Carolina.
Were you a collection of elements driven by unknown forces? Have you gone back to the beginning? What beginning?
This is not my season for reassurances.
I don’t rest in full knowledge that your essence is still whole somewhere brimming.
Spring is relentless in the hills around our home—fat cardinals are building a nest near an upstairs window. Is that you orchestrating a message? I’m told I need to drink more water and stop eating salt, when all I want is salt.
I wasn’t with you at the clinic when you died. I’m told a nurse was combing your hair and singing to you when you stopped breathing, when you’d had enough suffering. You had many plans—the house is full of your things. I think a stray thought and by habit it refers to you. This is not the season for reassurances. This is not the time for a life without you. Are you in some cottage by the sea waiting for us?
In a week or so our wild cherry tree will be spilling with white flowers from every branch. Will you be there? For me, yes. Our house is surrounded by high deep forest. Hundreds of trees. As a boy, trees were my first love. You are my second—and much greater love. My darling.
(Second Poem here.)
Jon Rappoport
The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emails here or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing and sorry for your unfathomable loss.
My heart goes out to you ????
Condolences to you.
I am so sorry to hear the news of the passing for your wife. Take care of yourself. Sincerely, judi
I am 81 yrs. now and never had a wife. I never found one that wanted me and vice-versa, so eventually just abandoned the idea. Sort of like the story of the spider swinging in a gusty wind on a web-string hanging from a limb next to a window sill with a spider friend already on the sill encouraging him to keep swinging to make it up to the sill. Finally a gust of wind blew just right so it could and did make it up to the sill. His friend said, see – I told you if you kept trying you could make it! The other spider retorted, yeah – but I would look like a damned fool if I kept on swinging and it was impossible to make it! A coin always has two sides.
I am sorry for the sorrow of your loss. I can only try to imagine what that must be like and that my imagination won’t even come close. Just cherish the memories. That is about all we all have left when we become old.
Xpielut
Oh, Jon, I am so sorry to hear that Laura has died. Your poem on her passing is beautiful. Thank you for writing it. I’m sure she knew she was loved. Please take care fo yourself and keep writing. We need you!
A beautiful Poem Jon, my Condolences and Sympathy to you and your family and friends.
Jon,
You have imparted spiritual strength to many with your profound insight and wisdom over the years. Let us strengthen you with our thoughts and condolences now. Be strong. Feel your loss deeply. Celebrate her life gratefully—her unique life on the endless road of her soul’s innumerable incarnations. Thank you for your liberating work that has delivered me from the lies of limitation. Keep on writing. Keep on painting….
Such a profound loss. I had no answers either, when I lost my wife less than 2 years ago. Imponderables – where have you gone? So much meaning was built around her, and reconstructing it was no trivial task. Jon, your writing on imagination helped me to re-imagine my life and make a new beginning. As that happened, I also found my mind revisiting every significant memory and gaining totally unexpected insights from them. Move forward, Jon, into that dark forest where chaos and meaningless lurks, with the light of imagination within as your guide.
Sorry to hear of your wife’s passing sir. May you find the comfort and peace that only God can give.
My prayers and condolences, Jon. Peace and love be with you in your time of sorrow and reflection. You are so generous and brave to share your beautiful grief with your readers who, you understand, care about you deeply. You are a teacher after all. God bless you.
Hey bud. I’m a young conservative and I’ve been getting your emails for a few years and consider them some quality reading material on break or after work. I just wanna offer my condolences on your loss. I have said a prayer for you and wish that you and your family cherish the memories and honor her life.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
When you stropped righting articles on a daily base, I had the feeling of rather you were sick or your wife was. I hoped I was wrong.
But you know what Jon, She is still with you. I have lost my parents and so many friends, but still, I talk to them and I feel they are listening. Call me crazy, but I swear it is true.. And I also believe that one day, we will meet again with the people we have lost and loved.
By the way, Nice poem Jon.
A very beautiful tribute, Jon. My condolences.
Oh, Jon.
Like everything else you’ve been through and continue to go through in this life, all the rest of us gather the benefit of some of the most beautiful, penetrating, uplifting and enabling reading around.
I’m reblogging this to my readers at sister site Timeless Wisdoms, where I know other sufferers of sadness will gain precious comfort from it.
Much love and many good thoughts to you at this time. Big virtual hug.
My deepest condolences, Mr R. The poem is beautiful. You will always be a writers’ writer in my ears and eyes.
Jon,
I have always admired the confidence and imagination in your writing. It’s very clear your sense of loss is profound. If writing about it is therapeutic, I recommend it whether you share it or not. Greiving is personal and necessary and none of us should tell you how or how long to do it. So sorry for your loss.
Jon………your poem has four dimensions, and more. Ray Australia.
So sorry, Jon, for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your beloved! Thank you for sharing your heart with us at such a time as this. May it be blessed.
Much love, prayers and blessings to you and your beloved wife, Laura…. Look for her in your dreams, she will be there.
I’m so very sorry, Jon. May you have many wonderful memories to keep her with you in your heart.
So very sorry for your loss, Jon. If you leave yourself open to messages, they will come, and assure you that your loved one is doing well and waiting for you.
I received messages from siblings after they passed, and even had one message from my sister delivered to me in a dream ten days in advance of her passing, telling me she was leaving.
I know that this sorry little realm isn’t the only place we ever live in.
What a poem, sorry for the loss
I’m so very sorry for your loss.Thank you for sharing this most personal poem with us. Love and peace from someone you inspire regularly.
Jon, I had a feeling something was wrong. But I didn’t know what it was. That is why I emailed you.
When my beloved husband died, dear friends sent a card with this written inside:
Everything that happens in this life is a gift.
Even as you struggle through this difficult time, you are gaining strength and wisdom that will help you further down the road. . .
Remember, no matter what happens, you’ll always have people who care for you.
Jon, these words have given me comfort as well as tears. They have helped me to be grateful in all things. That is how I got through the pain of grief.
Take care of yourself, Jon. We love you and need you.
A very dear family friend passed recently and Blue Jays started appearing frequently both near our home and near his family home in another state. His name was Jason. He loved the outdoors. The appearance of the Jays brought much comfort. Look for the comfort in nature surrounding you. May you have much strength and comfort during this time.
Dear Jon,
When my grandmother died, I almost went crazy with grief….I didn’t realize how much I loved her until she was gone.
Time eases the pain…the love never fades …
I am so sorry to hear about your loss Jon. My condolences go out to you.
Thinking of you with deepest sympathy.
Jon, my dearest condolences . I am so sorry for for your loss. Your poem is touching and my thoughts are with you hoping to give some comforting in your sorrow.
Danny
So sorry to hear of this, Jon. I had no idea.
It pained me to read that she had been suffering, and that Modern Medicine couldn’t – or wouldn’t – CURE her.
Or even stop her pain???
So unfair to both of you.
My deepest sympathy.
Hopefully, she’s still hanging around somewhere, somehow,
and will make her presence known.
It actually happened to me, once! On 2-22-94.
Best regards, Jon, and thank you for all you do.
Dear Jon,
Your poem has no Rhythm or Rhyme in its words.
But the song in the meaning ,and the dance in your heart make the most powerful message I have ever heard from you.
I have followed you for many years .
i have your explosive collections .
You have changed my life and many around me.
Thank you Jon.
kind thoughts
david
What a beautiful and heartfelt poem you’ve written- it is obvious that you love her deeply. My sincerest condolences on your loss.
From an internet friend/follower
I am so very, very sorry. Beautiful poem. Tears are falling here.
Utterly beautiful. I became overwhelmed with emotion at the first line. I had to gain control to continue reading.
Dear Jon, I am so sorry for your loss. Your dear wife has given you so much love. She is waiting for you on the other side and is be with you here on earth every time when you whishes that. Death is another state of being.
Condolences, and thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry Jon.
I’ve never seen so many readers comment. It is a great sign of how loved and appreciated you are, Jon.
My deepest sympathies to you. We love you sir!
My condolences for your loss. I lost my wife about 3 yrs ago. A day never goes by when I don’t think of her. Each day can be a challeng with many thoughts of anger, sorrow, confusion & pessimism. Life can have a sick sense of humor. Find what works to bring peace and tranquility in your life. I know someday we will join our loved ones in the afterlife.
Thoughts & Prayers.
My sincerest condolences to you and your family, I didn’t comprehend what I was reading at first…..could it be so? How could this be? I never knew Laura and personally I do not know you Jon. Just through internet communication with accurate, informative information that I truly appreciate.receiving. I believe in what you write.and i wish I could have helped. I do practice holistic health (not naturopath) and have a contact on healing naturally.(with no supplements, no treatments, no crazy diets, no detoxes, just fresh simple real food)
Though I did not know what the cause or symptom was. You mentioned that you swelling of the legs?
My email contact below.
Rest well and keep doing good.
Jon, another thought for later, inspired by your first line. A book came out last year, published by HarperOne titled: Where Did You Go? A Life-Changing Journey to Connect with Those We’ve Lost by christina Rasmussen. I ordered it right away but have not yet read it. The author is supposedly “grounded in science” and used physics somehow to “bridge the gap between the metaphysical and the measurable, it will change the way we grieve, the way we live, and how we define our potential–in this life and hereafter.”
Jon- I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. My words cannot console you. Only her memories can. Cherish those memories and put them on your mind’s DVD- replay when needed to feel them again.
What a lovely poem..i am pretty sure many of us cried when we read it.
I join the others here in expressing condolences and sending support.
NOT to cheapen anything you are experiencing, that is not my intent.
But I have experienced near death, out of body experiences and pets who have passed over come to visit…and reincarnate to us. (my husband has also seen them)
We do go on, but because of the heavy materialist indoctrination which permeates our culture, i have to fight constantly to grasp that because my experiences gave lie to everything i was taught is true..-
May your loved one visit you and bring you solace and peace.
When you are feeling up to it..i would encourage you check out Bruce Moen’s work as well as Victor Zammit’s book. Chris Carter is pretty good too.
Bless you.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Very wonderfully put Jon… Much love for her, for you and for all you do and have done.
Jon, my heart is broken for you at the loss of your beloved Laura. By your works I learned of the depth of your love and compassion.
So sorry. You have a lot of Internet friends—I hope you have local support as well. You have helped to shape my world and The World. We will all benefit from your unique and insightful perspectives as we individually and collectively transition.
What a powerful and touching poem, Jon. Thank you so much for it in your time of loss. My prayers go out to you.
My deepest sympathies on your loss.
May your many fond memories help to fill the void of her physical absence. Let the love you have fill your heart with her spirit each day.