GOT YOUR MIND IN MY POCKET
by Jon Rappoport
January 13, 2012
I’ve been working on an invention for the past 15 years, and I finally have it perfected. It allows you to put your mind in my pocket and forget about it. Sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?
I can tell you, it was quite a challenge to come up with this, but I could see it was essential, because so many people are worrying about their minds.
And then I had to figure out what to do with lots of minds that came my way. A few colleagues and I worked out a system for separating the constituents and selling them for scrap. As you might know, the scrap biz these days is very big.
Anyway, the procedure for transfer is pretty simple. You don’t have to check into a hospital or a clinic. We handle it in the privacy of your own home. We set you up in a comfortable chair (you can even watch TV while this is all happening). The energy-suction machine is about the size of a cell phone. It locates the dimensions of your mind (not your brain, of course), and then it establishes a territory of about four feet by six in which it radiates a frequency of extreme pleasure. Your mind just pops out of its locale and comes scrambling over to the pleasure-field like a puppy and we pocket it. Bang. No problem.
Gone forever.
You should know how we define mind. It’s the totality of repetitious, aimless, and unproductive thinking. The useless stuff that goes around and around and gets nowhere. It’s the worrying and the globs of passive hand-wringing that never lead to action. It’s really the totality of the illusion that you only exist in one space. That’s what we take away. All the rest of your thoughts, whatever they may be, remain intact.
After the procedure, you’ll know you can create space(s). And that will alleviate the need to start thinking round and round in circles again.
In other words, you’ll know you’re an artist.
You’ll know you invent reality.
Disclaimer: How you handle your new echelon of existence is, of course, not our concern. We can’t hold your hand forever. Revelations about your new status might come as a shock to the system. You could engage in certain forms of chaotic behavior. You could try to attach blame to our service. That’s why we have this 60-page ironclad no-fault addendum, which you’ll have to sign in the presence of three witnesses. It exempts us from liability. It informs you that under no circumstances can your mind be replaced if you’re dissatisfied.
Of course, if you want to undertake the stripping of your illusions on your own, without our help, you could. That might involve a lengthy process. The results, naturally, aren’t guaranteed.
It’s the difference between being flown to a high castle by helicopter and climbing the trails and scaling the rocks yourself.
We prefer the easy way. It’s our specialty and our business.
If you feel you want to take advantage of our offer, but need the assurance of a “figure of authority,” we can provide a simulacrum of a “fully realized ancient spiritual master,” who will come to your home and cast our work in the light of a miracle, a moment of grace, a “deserved reward” for your lifetimes of suffering “on the wheel of Karma.” Or some such. We can perform those theatrics for you.
At the moment, we’re in the middle of negotiations with the federal government. If our funding grant comes through, we’ll be able to provide our service at no charge to those who can demonstrate some level of disability. We’ll have counselors on call who can help you navigate the relevant regulations.
Welcome to your new life!
Jon Rappoport