Boris Johnson reveals secret of his hair and the future

by Jon Rappoport

April 23, 2021

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BBX reporter Baldy Maxwell caught up with UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson outside a conference room in the basement of Parliament and managed an interview—

Sir, how do all your lockdowns work together with your Brexit campaign? Is there a connection?

Of course, Baldy. The plan was to leave the European Union and then establish ourselves as a floating Prison Island. I thought I had made that clear from the outset.

Apparently, sir, most people missed it.

Well, then, let me go on the record. Brexit had nothing to do with freedom. It was always about future lockdowns. I suspected that the EU might object to a member country sentencing its entire population to in-house arrest…so the UK had to sever its tie to the EU.

In other words, the plan for imprisonment predated COVID.

Of course. When COVID came along—and by the way, it’s no more troubling than a flu season—I grasped that pretext. People always want a reason for new policy implementation. I gave them one.

However, this leaves the real explanation for the lockdowns hanging. Why? Why put the country in jail?

It’s the logical extension of decades of increasing government regulation. In for a penny, in for a pound. Obviously, the population has wanted greater government control. I made the extra leap. I saw the finish line and I took us there.

So the lockdowns will go on forever?

In one form or another, yes. Immunity passports, cell phone apps, tracking, surveillance, police break-ins, universal guaranteed income tied to behavior. If a person wants enough money to survive, he must obey all rules.

What about people who want to work for a living and earn their money the old-fashioned way?

That’s an extinct system, Baldy. It’s unsupportable for many reasons. We’re in the age of robotics and AI. This is where all the jobs are going. Humans have one indispensable function; they consume. They buy products. They can do that from their homes. They don’t need to be out and about.

Sir, for some time I, and many others, have been wondering about your hair. How it’s done.

Done?

Do you wake up in the morning and get out of bed—rumpled—and leave your hair that way all day?

Again, I thought I’d explained that. Goodness, no. I tried the random rumpled strategy and it didn’t work at all. Variations of an unpleasant nature result from the anarchic approach. I have a stylist. She’s very good.

What does she do?

Before breakfast, she handles my look. She more or less copies yesterday and the day before, and so on. Nothing is casual.

I ask, because it seems to me your presentation is on the order of “oppressed English schoolboy.” You know, the lad who’s mocked and beaten by his mates on a regular basis and is deeply ashamed. And at moments, I’m reminded of a child who’s stolen a plum and been caught.

Right. I fancy that it’s straight out of Dickens. I’m a regretful little thief. I’m brooding over my fate.

Obviously, you like the look.

When I slam the hammer on the population—the fourth or fifth lockdown—it’s always with a certain degree of sadness. Guilt. I want people to sense that, to see it in my hair, face, and manner. At any rate, we all serve the cause.

What cause is that?

Since the end of the Empire, aside from brief respites of heroics, our way of life has been: Suffering. That’s the theme. It’s deep, and runs through all classes.

You’re saying there’s no—

No way out. We stand in line. We huddle. We bitch and moan. Occasionally, we erupt into violence. Our art is making something out of that suffering. I’m the whipped schoolboy in all of us.

Sir, isn’t that in itself a rather pathetic cartoon with which outsiders have characterized us?

Yes and no, Baldy. But you see, now we have a new chance. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We can remake our society in the form of a brilliant machine.

A what?

The New Normal is going to be a functional slot for every person, and a person for every slot. No citizen or immigrant left behind. Technology demands a civilization that, step by step, is planned to provide specific duties for each human—and altogether, those duties integrate and add up to a whole clicking and blinking and whirring Organism.

Orwell? Huxley?

But first, we must break every person down so that his independent impulses are squeezed out of him. Hence, the lockdowns. And that is why I wear my hair the way I do. To register a note of grief about the pain of necessary imprisonment.

I see.

I am a symbol, as it were, of both regret and joy. Because the future will shine. It will contain, after several generations, no scabs or scars. Its perfect surface will reflect our commitment: all for one and one for all and all for all.

Slavery.

Willingly, freely, pleasurably lived.

And if you’re still remembered in that future, sir?

Sipping a glass of tea or whiskey on a quiet afternoon, someone will look at a photo of me and chuckle at my hair and my demeanor. And since all memory of the past will have been deleted by then, that someone will have no idea why I was the way I was.

Just like now.

Perhaps.

You’re Big Brother who’s made himself up to look like Little Boy.

Bingo. You win the prize.

What’s the prize?

Locked down in your home—a delivery of something indispensably British: a watercress sandwich with a whisper of butter on white bread with no crust.


The Matrix Revealed

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Jon Rappoport

The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emails here or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.

29 comments on “Boris Johnson reveals secret of his hair and the future

  1. Sean says:

    Ive been yelled at in public, why dont you comb your hair! I didnt care to or what anyone thought about it. Business owner and all. It was my depression phase. Drove people mad. Didnt care.

    There are billions of us. These leaders dont seem to care about humanity. How did I sense this a child? So many of us, so little of them. And yet it does not seem to matter. They got some forcing to do. I got some dodging to do.

  2. Zanz UK says:

    Jon, I live under Boris’s tyranny in the UK.

    This piece you have written is both hilarious and bang on the money!

    People are so taken-in by BoJo’s ridiculous hair and scruffy demeanour – they think he’s quirky, goofish and endearing (sigh).

    He really is a very dangerous man who mocks us with his slip-ups and badly rehearsed press conferences.

    • AstraeaIsabella says:

      He lives in No.10 with a girlfriend – who has had a aby – while his wife is ill with cancer and they are not divorced. I find it amazing that th eBrits do not seem to mind at all!
      Boris is very wily indeed and his rumpled innocent bumbling schoolboy act is just an act, though I do not think there is much he can d with his albino hair.
      He is not English – that is one thing one should understand. He is not an Englishman at all.

  3. Opie Poik says:

    LONDON — English hairdressers open Monday for the first time in months, but don’t expect to see Boris Johnson reining in his unruly thatch.
    https://www.politico.eu/article/how-boris-johnsons-hair-defined-britain/

    This is a statesman?
    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/may/19/boris-johnson-wins-most-offensive-erdogan-poem-competition
    There was a young fellow from Ankara,
    Who was a terrific wankerer.
    Till he sowed his wild oats,
    With the help of a goat,
    But he didn’t even stop to thankera.”

    I’ve met Winston Churchill, Mr Johnson, and you’re no Winston Churchill.

    Gor blimey, someone crowdfund this prat a comb and a bottle of Gorilla Glue.

    • Larry Post says:

      I’ll gladly pay for finest tar if you bring some feathers.

      There was a cuddly buffoon called Boris,
      at least that’s what he liked them to think,
      but in fact he was a psychopath,
      working for the new world order,
      sorry but truth sometimes doesn’t rhyme or scan,
      and it would be funny but it isn’t.
      The end?

      • AstraeaIsabella says:

        Exactly. He is a really, really nasty piece of work – and he is NOT Enblish even if he sounds like one – because he went to Eton where they all talk the same way. His name is not Boris either – apparently his real name is Pfeffel! And Pfeffel is what he is called by his family!
        According to Peter Hitchens that really is his name! Pfefffel!
        Does anyone know what kind of name that is?
        ps. the Leader of the Opposition is just as deceitful – he is a mamber of th eTrilateral Commision – or so I hear.

  4. Diane Di says:

    Boris’ hair always looked as though he was attacked by a
    “weed wacker”

  5. Opie Poik says:

    The Machine Stops, by E. M. Forster (1909)
    https://www.cs.ucdavis.edu/~koehl/Teaching/ECS188/PDF_files/Machine_stops.pdf

    A short dystopia from 1909 which predicts TV, Internet/WWW, social distancing and isolation, control of reproduction, severing of normal family and societal ties, and total technocracy – and total technological collapse among an utterly dependent, helpless populace.

  6. Paul says:

    “Variations
    of an unpleasant nature
    result from
    the anarchic approach.”

    WOW!

    That is one verbal lay down.

    “Since the end
    of the Empire,
    our way of life has been:
    Suffering.
    That’s the theme.
    It’s deep,
    and runs
    through all classes.”
    ~~~
    “Hanging on
    in quiet desperation
    is the English way…”

    ~ Roger Waters

  7. Larry Post says:

    It was much better when Boris and his chums were in The Bullindgon Club. Back then they could only destroy one restaurant at a time instead of the whole country at once.

  8. Boris Johnson and Donald Trump are actually twins, separated at birth and Boris was sent to England. He is really Boris Trump pronounced like Forrest Gump but with a Bee and a Tee. Look at the hair?

    “[…] whisper of butter […]”

    What da hells with all this whispering, these whisperers jumping up suddenly…it’s a pandemic of whisperers.

    Boris had a candidate whisperer in Brett O’Donnell.

    Biden has his COVID whisperer in, Tony “the lips” Fauci, (Shit, I said the Cee word there goes my UBI and credit rating)…and then there’s Brian the vaccine whisperer (shit the vee word) whose upped the number of vaccines received by bodies in his vicinity by quietly blowing words of vaccine wisdom on little whisps of kissy-air over the cochleae of the languishing.

    In fact, vaccine whisperers are a dime a friggin dozen as they are popping up all over the place like whack-a-moles.

    There’s the mask whisperer, whispering to people to put on their mask, and I tried to be one the other night, wearing a mask to bed as to spice things up and the missus beat the snot out me for two minutes until I whispered “Help”.

    When I said “Didn’t you recognize me.”, she said “No, I thought it was some old naked pervert in a mask, had broke in…”

    Of course, we have the social-distancing whisperer that quietly and assuredly warns you that you are not paying attention to the accelerating beeping noise of his social distance monitor and he is quietly whisperingly upset little evil noises and curses, as you are moving-up-close, and then backing-up-away, and…up-close, and then away, up-close *smack* and then away.

    I understand it is quite a science, whisperers use types of auditory whispers; the trigger word whisper — very effective; the closeup whisper and peek-a-boo; the soft-spoken whisper with a gentle coo, and now unfortunately the very popular close-up whisper in cupped hands is being cancelled for 2021.

    Whisperers by law are now required to use a megaphone or a cellphone now. Of course the latter might get you into some hot water, some trouble if you don’t have your NWS (National Whisperers Society) license handy when the police show up after the phone whispering call.

    There’s the paranormal whisperer… and the careless whisperer, the placenta whisperer of all things and being Irish I’m friggin sure I know there’s a whiskey whisperer…there has to be, somebody’s coaching that damn stuff to be good. I heard Irish whiskey is made by neutered pedophile monks as penance — their good whisperers, right!

  9. john-oranje says:

    In the UK. I challenged a man who was wearing a mask,
    waiting with a little girl, who was wearing a mask.
    “Why are you masking up that poor little girl?”,I said.
    He just giggled. He didn’t even try to justify why she
    had a mask on.
    Later I saw a long line of masked people all 6 feet apart.
    I asked someone what was going on.
    It was a parents waiting to pick up their children from
    school. We have gone completely mad.

    • Larry Post says:

      If the British ever held a revolution, and they needed to storm the railway station, they would stop to buy platform tickets.

    • george says:

      Where I live sheep-to-human ratio is 50 to 1, maybe even 100 to 1. There is no point in trying to make a sheep think. They are not capable of that; it is like going to mecca an arguing against alah

  10. Al says:

    That complete wanker and his Oxford bum chums…… if ever one could remove images from one’s memory, those psychopathic parasites (along with “Dr” Fauxi and some others), I gladly would pay top dollar!
    And, being a somewhat pacifist and detesting violence, if they were all rounded up and taken to the gallows/guillotine, there would definitely be no tears under my eyes….well, maybe of gladness.

  11. Jake says:

    Another thing seems to me people waste time on appearance, tidy this neat that, femy waste of time when there are things far more important. T-shirt and jeans good enough. In any case sharp article, few sentences from bottom copied line – you’re big brother etc because it’s how I see all media and pol i ticks, false smiles or bogus concern as plans march on anyway. Needle brigade. Think we should create and make the future ourselves.

    Watercress sandwich whisper of butter.

    What happened to people.

    Beef, mustard mayo on whole grain. Or just beef dunked in sea salty beef juice. Food.

    • Andy says:

      Yep. Forget the carbs. Carnivore for life. Started carnivore September last year. Height 177cm (5’10”). Starting weight 93kg (205lb), BMI 29.68. Today’s weight 76kg (167.6lb), BMI 24.26, and never felt better. No more irritable stomach/bowel, arthritis virtually zero, no inflammation. Highly recommended…the proper human diet. The standard western diet is yet another extremely highly profitable fraud courtesy of the barbarians.

  12. Hyden says:

    “because they own this fucking place! It’s a BIG CLUB…AND YOU AIN’T IN IT! You and I are not in the big club! By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head. And their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy… The table is tilted. Folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good. Honest. Hard- working people. White collar. Blue collar. It doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on.”

    George Carlin

  13. L Garou says:

    May’s Igor..

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